Sarah's Day as told by Sarah -
This was my 2nd day during TCAPS. I had PB Cupps for breakfast. For lunch, I had chicken nuggets. I had gym and music today.I recieved all the rest of my belts for my recorder today (it's kind of like earning belts in karate). :-) */:-) @@@@:-) (marge simpson) B:-)
I spent the day getting frustrated about the zoo project. All my cookie paperwork is done and turned in. Yay! Now Doug and Sarah are butting heads because she is the world's pickiest eater and Doug is upset that she refuses to take a bite of anything other than her 10 acceptable foods. This particular duel is over a teeny-tiny slice of banana. Doug is angry and Sarah is sobbing. Nobody will win this one.
Oops. Girl Scout Council just called and asked me to do something and I said "sure, no problem". I'll add "not saying no" to the list of things I need to get therapy for.
The cleaning was making me weary and I wanted to see Doug before he fell asleep so I headed to bed just after 10 p.m. When I got there he was caught up in an action flick and befire it ended he fell asleep. He got annoyed by Amy's crying and clicked the TV off in the middle of a show I was watching. "THIS is what is waking her up." Oh, well. He'll stay up for Kingdom Hospital tonight.
Amy woke up crying a dozen times last night. If she wasn't such a wiggler I would have put her in our bed so I wouldn't have to keep getting up, giving her a hug and a new bop and tucking her back in bed. This morning she woke up before 7 and at 7:30 I gave up and brought her upstairs. Boy do I need a nap.
Sarah has therapy today and Noah has soccer practice but practice might get rained out.
We made our first step toward Project Linus progress today. Sarah has permission to put out a donation box at her school AND send home a flyer with each child! I am so excited about this.
At 5:15 p.m. the children came in asking for ice cream. Umm, no I don't think so. It's a little too close to dinner time. I made some progress on the house today. Now if the Zoo Crew would just give me their progress updates I'd feel better. The silence makes me think they haven't done anything. It's going to be a rainy night.
On the bright side, Amy is jolly and funny today. She is happiness embodied to remind us to keep everything in perspective and realize how the good always outweighs the bad. Just looking at her makes me feel happiness and it's impossible not to smile when you watch her toddling about like a little munchkin who has escaped from Oz.
Stayed up late last night and then I couldn't sleep while Doug was comatose so I over did the Tylenol PM. He has been going to bed at 8:30 every night. He used to stay up until 10 and we'd meet each other in bed for TV and talk.
The caller ID just showed that it's Tommy's school. These phone calls make me tense all over. Apparently Tommy is wandering the building acting silly and refusing to listen. This translates to Tommy doesn't want to sit down and work so he's going to manipulate us. Tommy wins because they want us to come get him. This makes me really angry because now he'll repeat this behavior to get the reward of going home. The school is supposed to keep him there and teach him, not flap their hands and give up when he doesn't conform to their schedule. Time to demand an IEP and start fighting again.
Ran to WalMart and found buckets for Easter. We had 3 coordinating baskets and I couldn't find a 4th so we are going with buckets. Inexpensive and easy to pack away. Came home to chaos and mess.
All the little people are in bed but none are sleeping. Doug asked if Amy should be upstairs in sarah's room or downstairs in our room. I said "Depends on whether we'll be noisy tonight." He put her in our room.
I went to the troop bank for a cashier's check then to the council bank to deposit our last cookie payment. After one wrong turn, Doug talked me to the Girl Scout supply store. After that I dropped off the cookies our troop had collected to donate. Yay! All that is left to do with cookies is turn in the cookie paperwork and deposit two small checks into our troop account.
Sarah and Noah are home and eating bowls of cereal for a snack before doing their homework. I am torn between doing one more errand and doing dishes. Of course, this is also the time of day when I get droopy and want a nap.
Lots of virus attempts on my e-mail today.
I was allowed to sleep until 8:30 this morning. The best part was the 5 minutes I stayed in bed after I woke up. I was alone and free of responsibilies. Then reality slapped me in the face and I started thinking about all the things I need to get done today. After I came upstairs I thought I was going to spend some taking to Doug but he went right back to bed. He is having a bit of trouble readjusting.
I told Doug I needed to get out of the house so he loaded up our four plus a neighbor child and we visited a neighborhood park. It was fun. Not relaxing, but fun. Afterward we made a quick grocery run before coming home for evening chaos.
Tomorrow I have Girl Scout banking and paperwork to do.
The tooth fairy visits Noah tonight.
Tried to lie on the couch but Amy screamed and dumped the DVDs. I made her some lunch that she promptly fed to the dog. Cleaned he up and put her down for a nap. When I came out of the bedroom, Tommy was stretched out on the couch so I decided to take a bath. While in the bath two phone calls tried to come through and Tommy snored through both of them even though I called him repeatedly from the bath. "Tommy! Pick up the phone!" A few minutes later my parents and the middle two children came in the house making all kinds of noise. I tried to hurry and rinse my hair but my parents left before I got out of the bath. I came out and surveyed what the house looks like if I don't constantly run around cleaning it. Tommy got up and started his afternoon griping. I'm going to dry my hair and then go back to cleaning. If I stop cleaning for even an hour everything turns into a disaster. I'm not allowed any rest, time to myself or calm.
The evening was relaxing and I slept in a teeny bit before Doug made me get up so he could go horseback riding. My goals for today? Umm. . . I don't think I have any goals today. I think I just want spend some time doing nothing. I haven't had time to waste for weeks and I feel mentally drained. I need to re-charge my brain cells. Today is going to be unbelievably beautiful weather so maybe a nap in the hammock would be relaxing.
We spent the day at the Aquarium in Chattanooga. Everyone had fun and afterwards we visited WayCrazy's for bbq before finishing the day at my sister-in-law family's nursery. My mother bought us a doormat to replace the pumpkin one we've had since fall. After we got home we took Amy and Tommy to play on the school playground. Amy ran around singing "Play! Play! Play!" The slides are her favorite. Now we have two very over-tired children, but it was fun. Tonight the children go to bed early and the grown-ups get to snuggle in bed whether the grandparents like it or not.
The boys spiled gatorade all over the diaper bag and I can't get it washed and dried in time to use tomorrow so I've done some rearranging and now I think everything is ready for the morning rush.
Dad's home!
My mother is coming to pick up the two boys for the night. Tomorrow we are all meeting in Chattanooga to visit the Aquarium. It's one of our favorite outings.
I have started our scout troop's Bronze Award project. This is our first big service project so I really hope it goes well. We are collecting fabric and yarn for Project Linus.
The mess is driving me crazy. There are toys everywhere. Our entire yard looks like a toybox with every child in the neighborhood's bike and helmet tossed on the ground.
Tommy found a baby bunny that the outside cat has obviously killed very recently. Now the three older children are out front having a funeral and saying bad things about the outside cat.
Amy went to bed at 9 p.m. last night and Noah fell asleep on the couch at 10 p.m. Tommy fell asleep in the bathtub and scared me half to death. I was pounding on the door and screaming for him to answer and getting only silence. The doorknob is a horrible, old 50's style knob and when I tried to remove it I learned the screw was stripped. I was getting ready to physically break the door when the knob finally clicked and I rushed in the bath to a sleeping child who was very confused as to why his hysterical mother was acting like a crazy person. I went downstairs and stared at the TV instead of doing the cleaning I had planned on doing.
Sarah got about two sentences added to her report that is due on Monday. She watched cartoons past midnight and now I can't get her to wake up and watch Amy so I can go take a bath.
Every time a car comes into the cove Amy screams "Da-Da" and runs to the window. I knew when Doug didn't take Monday off that we wouldn't see him for spring break. He's very relaxed away from us though. No babies crying in the night or late night teenager food binges. No spills or boo-boo's or sibling wars. Adult conversation, calm and pretty much control over your own schedule.
STAR actually went ok. Noah brought a friend along and the weather was so nice that we all wandered the empty fields behind the barn. Afterward I even braved the grocery store because after feeding the entire neighborhood for three days our cupboards were barren. Again, except for the stunned looks on the grocery employees, the event was as calm as could be expected. We came home and the children ate quickly and raced back outside. Amy and I tried to play outside but the mosquitos are already getting unpleasant. Inside for a quick blog before I tackle the dinner dishes.
The three 7-y-o boys are now riding their bikes in the cove. I give it 3 minutes before they accidently hurt one of the 5-y-o girls and we have chaos. Renters next door have wrecked their car.
It looks like Tommy is going to continue his downward spiral today. I did finally figure out that he is trying to push Noah's friends away so that he can have Noah all to himself. Sarah sat in my bed watching TV until 1 a.m. and is making up for it by sleeping all day today. I can't blame her. I'd rather lie in bed than put up with Tommy's constant complaining. Amy finds the pack of 7-year-old boys fascinating. Lucky for us, one of them has a 2-year-old sister and the other "mothers" Amy, so she is welcomed in their play areas.
Tommy had a total meltdown in the parking lot before soccer practice. He continued to be obnoxious and I was very grateful when the graduate student called to reschedule our interview. Hopefully Tommy will do better after a good night's sleep.
Text messaged Doug when Tommy was driving me crazy at soccer and regretted it immediately. I tried to joke it away but Doug was furious. I just reminded him of something we have talked about a thousand times and he flew off the handle and chewed me out and made me feel even worse than I already did.
Just got a call from a graduate student wanting to interview me about Aspergers. Fine, no problem. She also wants written literature. Twenty-five copies of each piece. Ummm, I don't really have that much literature any more.
I'm as ready as I'll ever be to take the crowd to McKay's. I just need to round up Sarah and Noah. Tommy is very out-of-control today and getting on my very last nerve.
The zoo project is not going very well right now. I prefer for things to be planned and organized ahead of time so that the event runs calm and smooth. This is gonna be one of those, down-to-the-wire, skin of your teeth kind of events.
Three children bathed, one still playing in the tub. One child sleeping (or undressing) and two children playing video games. Upstairs almost back to normal. Mom calmer and ready to settle in for the evening. Dad partying with old friends.
I've sent out dozens of e-mails today (mostly Girl Scout related, but other projects too) but gotten nothing back. I'm in a holding pattern until I get some replies.
The children are fed and Tommy has camped out in the bathtub which prevents Sarah and Noah from bathing. I bathed Amy in the sink so she has her pajamas on until I put her in the crib and she does her Gypsy Rose Lee number.
I'm having a moment of anger right now and trying to tell myself that it's all small stuff not worth getting upset about. I just went out front to check on the mess and found that Sarah had taken outside a brand new case of little gatorades which needed to last two weeks. Those were for the kids to drink at soccer practices and games and at our weekly trip out to STAR for Tommy's horse lessons. Each child must have drank 3 of those things. I know it's just a little drink but they know they weren't supposed to be handing those out to everyone. As much as I would like to, I can't provide snacks for the whole neighborhood.
Irritation number two is that Noah accidently bumped the ankle of the five-year-old next door with his bike. She ran crying to her mother and the mother screamed at Noah to stay away from her child and then told Sarah that her child isn't allowed to play with any of my children. "Mariah can't play you any more." So, Sarah and Noah both came in crying. Noah felt terrible that he hurt her and his apology was met with a stay away from Mariah and Sarah because she thought they were having fun and didn't understand why she should be punished for something Noah did.
Finally, Tommy has gotten on his scooter a dozen times today even though I keep telling him it is broken and that he is causing damage. I am very sorry that all the kids are out riding and after 3 months we still haven't repaired his scooter, but he was still disobeying me.
I will feel better after a good night's sleep.
Every child in the neighborhood is playing in the cove. It's nice to be able to look out the front and back window and see what everyone is doing. It won't be so nice later on when I see the mess left behind but it's worth the mess. Amy finally nodded off. It took a while because she first had to strip naked and that took longer than usual. When she wakes up I'll bathe her and scrub the crib (again).
Last night the girls stayed up past midnight watching tv and playing on my computer. I came upstairs this morning to find a note on my keyboard.
"Dear Mom,
I accidently pushed restart instead of shut down. I didn't know the password, so I left it to be lonely. It was probably very sad all night long being left on without a password. . . . Oh well! Mainly, your computer was lonely. See ya when I'm up!
Sarah"
Someone figured out the problem because when I came upstairs Tommy was having a video chat with a friend in Australia. I have read and sent out e-mails and played around a bit in my yahoo groups. Now I'll do some quick blogging and then move to the dirty dishes. It looks like the girls had popcorn and ice cream last night.
Mailed money order for some Girl Scout patches and the deposit for the troop to have a sleepover at the zoo. Tomorrow I have to make a flyer for the safety program our troop is hosting and get a troop newsletter out to all the parents. I need to work on the Mental Health event also. That one's not looking too good.
Traded Noah for one of Sarah's friends. Sarah is going for some sort of sleepover marathon. "Knoxville girl breaks world record for Most Consecutive Slumber Parties"
Picked up some cookie money and then we went to the post office to ship cookies. While in line for the postman, Amy giggled, ran and generally acted like an out-of-control child. I sent Noah to pick her up and bring her back to my spot in line. Amy was annoyed at this interference with her play and promptly dropped to the floor like a limp noodle where she kicked and spun on the floor. Several people in line giggled at this display. One person pretended not to notice. A very pregnant woman in stilleto heels and high fashion clothing had thoughts so clear that you could see the bubble over her head with the words "My child will never act like that" in it.
After the post office was the bank to deposit cookie money and get a cashier's check to make a partial payment to council for the cookies. Here, Amy giggled and hid under desks while her brother and sister loudly told her to stop it. Counting out over $600 in mostly singles takes a while, so Noah busied himself by tying his shoes to the sides of the karate outfit he was wearing (I don't know why he was wearing it). I was very happy when we left the bank. After that was a quick stop at the council's bank to drop off the cashier's check and then straight home. I got the shoes off the karate top and Noah skipped off to play.
We should have a revolving front door like they have at hotels. Then I wouldn't hear the door slam every few minutes and the house would stay heated or cooled. Whoever is inventing the locking-top sippy cup for me can work on the front door design after they are finished.
Even though we have given Sears a payment this month and given authorization for an autodraft next month, they still call several times a day. No matter what I say to them on the phone, they call back an hour later. All day, every day. Apparently their method is to harass us until we owe them nothing. It's effective because if I had extra money I'd pay them off so they'd go away. I will NEVER shop at their store but I know they don't care about that either. We have no one to complain to about this phone harassment because it's our fault we got behind on payments. This is just wrong.
Today's chore list includes two different banks to deal with Cookie money, a visit to an old employer to pick up cookie money and the post office to ship cookies. Plus, I get to do this with all four children in the car complaining about having to go with me on errands "Are we done yet?"
Doug has been cranky all day today. He leaves early in the morning for another week in Nashville. In the past two weeks, we functioned ok for the first two days, had problems on day three and I became a total basket case by day four. So, Wednesday something will break and Thursday I'll have my nervous breakdown. Hope he brings home valium.
Thursday night I barely slept because I was at the hospital till 2 a.m. and after that I watched and worried about Sarah. Friday night Sarah slept with a friend. Saturday night Sarah and a friend slept at the grandparents. Tonight Sarah is at another friend's house for a sleepover. If she had the option, she'd never be here. I miss her when she's not here.
The toe story
Thursday I took Tommy to STAR and since they are a non-profit in a brand new facility, they haven't yet built the offices bulding so there is no place for us to be during the lesson. Afetr a day of rain, I decided we'd just play in the car. At some point during the hour Sarah took off her shoes and I was stunned by the smell coming from her feet. I glanced and even though she moved quickly to hide them, I saw that her big toe was red, swollen and either bleeding or full of yucky puss. She refused to show me her foot so I said she WOULD be showing it to me when we got home. Skip ahead a few hours.
Sarah finally showed me her toe and it was badly infected. I told her I needed to clean it and try to dig the nail out from under the skin. She immediately re-hid the foot and said no. I walked to the computer and sent Doug a quick instant message saying that I wished he was home to hold her down so I could clean her foot. This is the child who had to be held down by three grown adults the last time she got a shot. Doug called on the phone and while he tried explaining to Sarah why she needed to cooperate, I IM'd my mother and she offered to come hold Sarah down. I happily accepted since at that point Sarah had thrown the phone down and locked herself in her bedroom. Apparently the conversation with Doug went poorly and he told her that she would end up at the hospital if she didn't cooperate. He THOUGHT he was making an idle threat.
My mother arrived and we coaxed Sarah out of her room only to have my mother decide that the toe was too serious for our little intervention. The grandfather was called upon to babysit the other three children who were at this point (8:30 p.m.) all in bed. Sarah had major hysterics but we got her in the car and headed to Children's hospital. At intake the nurse almost laughed in myface when I described the toe but upon learning that Sarah had a fever and seeing the toe in question, she ushered us back to a room. The doctor (he was just a student, really) came in and downplayed the whole thing, saying that we'd soak the toe and then clean it a bit. I assumed that we were going to be leaving soon with a referral to a podiatrist. I was wrong.
An older woman in scrubs dashed in the room, looked at the toe and left without saying a word. A few minutes later the doctor returned announcing that the surgeon had decided to remove the toenail. Sarah became hysterical. They gave her some liquid "cooperation medicine" but the pharmacy took so long sending up the anesthetic that Sarah's goofiness had almost worn off by the time they actually started injecting the toe to numb it. She screamed and sobbed hysterically. Even after it was finished she was still sobbing and hyperventilating.
The hospital sent us on our way and despit a major detour due to a broken water main outside the hospital, we arrived home at almost 2 a.m. and Sarah eventually fell asleep in my bed.
I'm still waiting for my chocolate from Doug. :)
Yesterday was a blur. Troop meeting with only one parent not turning in their cookie money. Even after I said "please give me what you have" I still don't have their money. This is a major problem because the checks take 11 days to clear in our account before I can get a cashier's check for the council to pay our share of the cookies. This same parent also took a box of cookies from our booth and we only realized it when we doing an inventory after the booth. His response was that it was to replace a damaged box he'd gotten earlier. Unless he gives back the damaged box I'm going to have to pay for the second box he took myself and that doesn't make me very happy.
After the meeting there was a quick trip to the bank followed by a brief (but very drooly) nap before two frenzied cookie booths that pretty much used up our cookie inventory. Ran to the grandparents for the Saturday evening children swap and despite my best intentions we ended up bringing home several boxes of junk from my parents "cleaning out the garage" project. The scary part is that they still have a lot of cleaning still needing to be done in their garage. Got into a power struggle with Tommy because he has been stealing quarters from my change jar downstairs and chose to lie when caught.
Came home and started the process of balancing the cookie balances but got too tired to continue. Collapsed in bed and slept deeply.
I'd like to do nothing today but the day is going to be spent cleaning and doing laundry and grocery shopping in preparations for Doug leaving town early in the morning. :( Hopefully we'll both have some chocolate this afternoon. :)
Last night was just Doug and I, so Amy slept upstairs. :)
No time for blogging this morning. Girl Scout troop meeting first, then cookie booths the rest of the day. I'm keeping Doug with me all day. I am SOOOOO happy he's home.
I still owe you the story about Sarah's toes. I'll tell that one this evening.
The booth actually sold quite well. Amy was on excellent behavior and Sarah didn't complain much about her feet hurting. The problem was Noah.
The booth was inside the mall, just outside of a major department store and two stores down from a toy store. I let Noah go look in the store and wasn't surprised when he came back to the boothe twice asking me to buy him a toy. After the second no, he returned again to the store and I didn't mak notice of the fact that he returned a few minutes later and hid behind our booth until Sarah said "Noah's got something." I quickly realized that he had the exact toy he'd asked for in his hand and upon questioning he turned blank-faced and said "I just borrowed it." I was about to explode when a customer showed up and I hissed at Noah to take it back immediately. He ran to the store, slipped it back to the display and returned to the booth looking guilty. Doug explained that I should have made a big deal out of having Noah hand it back to the store employees and he's right. It just was too chaotic and I was too stunned that Noah would steal.
I wouldn't have complained if Amy wanted to sleep in a bit today but she is packed with energy. If I even try lying on the couch I am jumped on and a little finger pokes my eyelid open. "Eye? Eye?"
Sarah fell asleep around 2 and I got to sleep about 3. The 6 a.m. alarm felt like a dream. Noah was happy to hear that Sarah is better. He was very concerned and upset when we left for the hospital last night. Tommy didn't even remember to ask about Sarah. He was too busy talking about the class "pizza party".
I'm going to see if a bath wakes me up a bit.
Well we're home at 1 in the morning and it'll only take me three hours to get to sleep. Of course I have to be up in 5 so it's kinda pointless. Sarah hada very ngrown toenail that she didn't tell me about and she ended up having some minor surgery on the toe to fix it. She did some major screaming though.
I'm not having enough fun this week so I think I'll make a run to the emergency room for a minor childhood malady. More blog details when I get back after midnight.
Almost time to load up everyone and head out for afternoon chaos. I can't remember the last time I didn't have to leave the house. I am really tired of all the running around. The children are tired of it too. "Where do we HAVE to go today?"
From 7 a.m. until 9 p.m. the phone doesn't go more than an hour without a bill collector calling. Even if I answer and talk to them they still keep calling and telling me I "have" to give them a check over the phone. Leave me alone! I'd give you some money if I had any.
Sorry Doug, but "I can't remember if I slept with her" just doesn't sound right.
Amy woke up at 3 in the morning and didn't get back to sleep until 4. I think the storms were bothering her. I love to sleep during storms. The noise is very sleep and dream inducing.
This morning the children were all moving in slow motion. I think I said "hurry" about a hundred times. I napped on the couch after they all left until Amy was ready to start her day. Now a quick blog then back to the laundry. I am not looking forward to driving 40 minutes out to STAR and then sitting in the car for an hour with the three little ones while Tommy has his horse lesson. Plus I am afraid that they are going to say he is just too overweight to continue there. Tomorrow I have a cookie booth that all 4 children will have to do with me and I know from last weekend how poorly that will work. At least Doug comes home tomorrow night.
It's very lonely without Doug here. I know that's hard to believe because there are lots of little people here, but it's not the same. I stare at my computer screen hoping for e-mail to answer. I read blogs, looking for something to comment on and I eagerly await the IM beep from Doug. Now I'm going to bed to tense and jump at every little noise. By the time I actually get deep asleep it will be time to get up and do the morning dance of the sleepyplum fairies.
Conversation in the car.
Noah - "Sarah I'm gonna marry Mommy and you can marry Tommy."
Sarah - "It's against the law to marry your own family."
Noah - "Why can't I marry you Mommy?"
Mommy - "Umm, what should we have for dinner?"
All of the children are home now. Sarah has homework but is too busy goofing off to get it done. Noah got in trouble for talking but didn't lose any tickets (behavior system in his class). Tommy slept all morning at school so his afternoon was calm and uneventful. Amy is her jolly old self. Now I need to get dressed so that I can drag the whole crowd to Noah's soccer practice. At least I knwo where Noah is today (trampoline). Yesterday he disappeared when it was time to leave for Tommy's group and after searching for 30 minutes I found him playing in the muddy creek.
This morning I wanted to sleep in and relax to try and get rid of this mean headache but life said no way. Amy awoke early with extra energy. Tommy was in slow motion after his late night binge eating. Sarah and Noah covered themselves with St.Patrick's Day tattoos. The dog has been in and out of the house a half a dozen times already. The cat wants something but I don't know what she wants since she has food and water.
Alice is having her letter to the local newspaper published in response to a recent tragedy. During the incident, I heard people talking about it everywhere I went. It bothered me for many reasons. First, it was very odd behavior for this particular teen and I wonder if they did a tox screen on him. If he wasn't affected by chemicals, he was certainly not in his right mind. Second, this teen didn't WANT to die or the stand-off wouldn't have lasted so long. He was terrified and trapped like a rabbit in a trap chewing off their own foot. Third, the police officer's baby will never know her own father. Her first year of life will be spent with someone in mourning. What kind of effect will that have on her? Last, and most importantly, I heard a Knoxville judge and police officer commenting to each other that the ending was "probably for the best". I am sorry but I couldn't disagree more. This teen made a mistake. A terrible mistake that he would have had to pay for but still a mistake that I believe was brought on by some sort of imbalance. This could have been anybody's child. This isn't anyone's fault. It was a horrible senseless tragedy that makes me wonder what warning signs were missed even though I know there may have been no red flags indicating trouble. The officer was a son, husband and father. No good came from this. There is no satisfaction or resolution in the ending, only sadness.
I have so much that I want to get done and my head aches so much I can barely function. I have ll the lights off and am trying to stay away from the computer. The TV is only on during Amy's favorite shows. I wish I didn't have to go check Tommy out and then sit at group for an hour and a half. Driving is hard with a migraine. Light hurts and sounds echo and reaction time is way down. It's like sleepwalking. You know what you have to do and you do it but you can't pay attention to your surroundings.
The rain sounded so soothing it made getting up this morning really hard to do.
Answers:
Money problems = Grumpy husband
Rain = Headaches
Ovulation = Lust
Spaghetti = Mess
Downtown Arby's = Bad stomach
Clean house = Calm wife
Banking done for today but I'll need to do more before cookie sales are finished. No time for extensive blogging now. Have to keep the laundry going and finish getting things ready for tonight's support group. More tonight.
Today I need to prepare for the Support Group and visit the bank to deposit cookie money. I also need to do dishes, laundry, cleaning, visit the pharmacy and pack for Doug. I don't actually WANT to do anything. I feel like the little ball who rolls instead of bounces in that pharmaceutical commercial.
I'm getting a little tired of cookies and cookie booths. I look forward to this being over so I can move on to other things in my life. Monday night is the first meeting of our new support group and I have done absolutely nothing to prepare for it. I'll obsess over that tomorrow. On the brighter side, Doug made a color-coded, fancy-shmancy spreadsheet so that I can keep up with cookies. Thank you Doug! Life is sooooooo much better when he is around. I'm an incompetent boob who can't even handle laundry without creating a disaster.
Noah's furniture has all been moved around after Amy used the former arrangement as a ladder to climb to the top of a dresser. Hopefully this will be a safer arrangement. Doug hung Noah's giant kite from the ceiling and the room looks really cute now.
Doug is rescuing the clothes and I should be really happy but I was so upset yesterday that I'm having trouble snapping out of it. I feel tense and anxious. Hopefully I'll be able to relax after we listen to Burt Bacharach tonight.
Doug seems to be working some small miracles with a combination of WD-40, Dawn dishwashing detergent, baking soda, liquid Tide and oxi-clean. He has to work hard over every piece of clothing but the early results are very promising.
I was so busy watching Amy and Noah that I didn't make sure Sarah kept a good tally of cookies at today's booth. We sold 57 boxes in the hour that we lasted there but I don't have an accurate count of how that total breaks down. We were supposed to stay another hour but Amy was crying and I couldn't calm her down so we left. Now I'm staring at the spreadsheet, trying to figure out which types of boxes I miscounted.
I hate me. I just pulled a load out of the dryer with all of my jeans, all of Tommy's jeans, Amy's only jeans (overalls) and Noah's jeans. One of the children had stuffed crayons in their pockets and the crayons are melted so well into the jeans that there's nothing to scrape. The jeans look like greasy, multi-colored paint rags. I have nothing to wear and neither does Tommy. I'm supposed to do a cookie booth in 3 hours and I haven't even bathed. Even if I was able to take all four children to the mall and cram everyone in a dressing room I don't have the money to buy new jeans. I don't even have time to go shopping. People file insurance for less expensive losses than this. I am just going to have to do a no-show on the cookie booth. Just as well since I would have spent all my time wrestling Amy and listening to Noah complain and that would have scared everyone away from the booth anyway. I am so angry and upset that I just can't even function right now.
Today is going to be hard. I have asked the children a dozen times already not to mess up the house today and they are ignoring me. They are all in "play and have fun" mode and I am in "stuff to do" mode so we are going to clash. This afternoon I have a cookie booth to do and no babysitter available.
Checked Tommy out of school and took him to the mall for a haircut. Never a fun task. Picked up Sarah and Noah and we all went to STAR for Tommy's horse therapy. Noah complained the entire time. Sarah snapped at Noah. Amy was completely overtired and wild.
From there we went to Wal-Mart where they still had no IBC black cherry. I am seriously unhappy that they seem to not carry it anymore. Hurried home and left the children with my parents while I took Noah to scouts. Noah seemed to have a blast at scouts. I had a less than fun time listening to the three moms there (the event was segregated with Moms at one table and Dads at another) discuss their plans for Spring Break. Two were going to Hilton Head and the other was going to Disney. I wished that I could have my husband in the same time zone as me during spring break. Doubled my Tylenol PM and now I'm going to stare at the tv with no volume since Amy is in my bedroom where she should be.
Today has got to be a better day than yesterday. The children left for school happy in the knowledge that tomorrow is a school holiday. I quizzed Sarah and Noah on their spelling and upstairs is clean except for the mountain of clean clothes on the couch that I need to fold. Amy woke up during the morning madness and played happily for a bit before falling back to sleep. She's been active and had her naps interrupted the past few days so I think the extra sleep will do her good. In an hour I'll call and cancel a few of our cookie booths so that we only end up doing 15 booths (2 hour slots each plus travel, set-up and clean-up time). I sen Tommy's teacher another note saying that I believe Tommy and that he needs to monitored more closely for a while. I hope that one doesn't backfire on me.
The children are all in bed and their backpacks and clothes are ready for the morning rush. Now is the time to collapse in bed and feel sorry for myself.
For the second time today I heard Amy hiding on the other side of the fridge, crunching on dog food. As I walked in the kitchen to confront her, she tossed the container of dog food over her shoulder (spilling the contents everywhere) while putting her hands behind her back and making her innocent face. I started cleaning up dog food and heard a spray noise. I don't know if the dog food was some giant ruse to distract me, but Amy was in the living room windexing the houseplants. I stood there calmly while she screamed in anger at having the windex taken away. Inside, I was screaming too.
Tommy decided to curse at and flip off the children who were teasing. Of course the other children had the good sense not to do things while the teacher was looking so they all denied doing anything. Anyone who knows Tommy knows he doesn't attack people for no reason. The teachers are all mad at Tommy now and the other kids are probably thrilled about what they are getting away with doing. I am LIVID. Livid with Tommy for acting this way and livid that the teachers are too stupid to realize that he's being tormented.
Noah got in trouble today too. "Well, ummm, first I was talking in the hall and then I was doing a puzzle when I wasn't supposed to and then I was bonking heads with another boy at lunch. But that's all I did." I feel like such a failure.
Amy likes to fill her mouth with her drink (usually apple juice or milk) and then spit it all out and laugh. I find this even more disgusting than the booger she handed me this morning. "Take it Mommy."
Dragged everyone to Sarah's appointment only to find that they had someone else booked for what is her standard appointment time. Since her last appointment was cancelled because "something came up" with the doctor, I am very aggravated. I think this is a wonderful therapist but I am not exaggerating when I say that we've had more appointments cancelled by the doctor than you would believe. I feel like I'm about to pop.
The bland but picky-eater friendly spaghetti sauce should be done by dinner time. I just don't know if I'm up to the mess tonight. I am still very upset about the phone call with Tommy's teacher this morning. The least little thing is going to send me to tears today. I just feel like Tommy deserves more than he gets and don't know what to do about it.
The house seems quiet but the noise in my head resembles a crowded gymnasium. I'll start with the oldest child and work my way down the list. Tommy needs a hair cut and new shoes. Tommy's teacher denies any bullying and I think she's wrong. She also wants Tommy to repeat 8th grade just like they said wanted back in 7th grade. So frustrating and aggravating to feel like they are still trying to shove Tommy out of the way. Tommy has been trying to sell scout cookies to win Sarah's affections and Sarah isn't giving an inch in her hatred of him.Things are hard enough for Tommy. He shouldn't have to beg for love from his family.
This leads directly to Sarah who I love dearly but I am getting very angry with her hatred of Tommy. She is not being fair or kind. She is doing well on cookie sales thanks to the efforts of her extended family. She has therapy today and I don't see any progress being made in her relationship with Tommy which was why we put her in therapy in the first place. She seems to be doing ok in school but could do better if she would make more of an attempt to study. "I already looked at it."
Noah still gets in trouble every day for talking too much. He and his teacher don't have a good relationship and everything Noah does bugs the teacher while everything the teacher does gets ignored by Noah. In Noah's defense I have to say that I have heard nothing but complaints about this teacher from the other class parents. They ALL complain about the teacher being short and rude with them and complaing about every little thing. Noah got a note one day last week because he was making himself burp in the lunchroom. So what??
Amy is acting more like a 2-year-old every day. Playing dress-up, pretending with toys and asserting her opinions. She has outgrown most of her clothes. She is funny and happy and just an all around joy. She has discovered the outdoors and now begs to go outside. I wish we had one small flat area of yard that was grass and not ditches, steep hills, poison sumac, rocks, or dog poop.
I need to do some cleaning before the afternoon chaos begins. First I'm going to get some spaghetti sauce cooking in the crock pot.
Shared a honey bun with Amy at breakfast, then she ate a banana while I finished getting dressed. For lunch I ate the fries from Amy's happy meal. The children ate all the macaroni and cheese for dinner so I'll munch on something after they go to bed. My fingers and cuticles have cuts all over them from ripping into the cookie cases these past few days and every time I bump into something they bleed again. They are pufy and sore. Wonder if that has anything to do with my diet lately?
I told Amy it was time for bed and she looked me straight in the eye, lowered her eyebrows in what we affectionately call the Frankenstein face and said "No, cracker." Even though she'd just had dinner I gave her a Ritz. As soon as it was gone we repeated our scenario, three times! Finally I took her to the fridge and said "Milk or juice?" while pointing to confirm my question. She pointed her little finger at the milk, then the juice and said as she pointed "No, no, cheese!" while quickly moving her point up to the stack of sliced cheese. I'm certain I was being played but I gave her a slice of cheese and made her apple juice while she ate it. As soon as it was done I tucked her in bed and that was the end of our little game of who is in control.
If Doug was here we'd have read each others' blogs a dozen times today and had a half a dozen video-conferences. He would have laughed and let Amy's game go on for much longer than I did. He would have made dinner while I got the kids bathed and I would have cleaned up the dinner mess while he worked on watched the History channel or any movie with a submarine. He would have let me get things set out for morning and then made me quit doing chores and playing on the computer. We would lie in bed together and talk about our day and maybe even watch Futurama or Family Guy. If I heard noises in the night he'd jump up and reassure me that everything was ok. We'd cuddle close and keep each warm all night. At least I know he'll enjoy getting a break from the noise and mess here. He'll sleep uninterrupted and he deserves that. I love you Doug. XXX000
Stayed up LATE packing for Doug and then we were too tired to do anything but collapse. The alarm went off at 5 and then again at 6 when I actually had to get up. Made a zombie Sarah get out of bed and then I woke Noah. Sat down to read e-mail then gave Tommy his meds. Went back to prodding Sarah and Noah to complete getting dressed. Forced Tommy out of bed and kissed Doug good-bye. Waved good-bye to Sarah and Noah as Josh's mother generously agreed to do morning carpool the rest of the week. Brushed Tommy's hair and sent him on his way. Jumped in the bath to quickly bathe and wash my hair. Amy woke while I was bathing so I quickly finished and went to rescue her from the port-a-crib.
Changed a diaper then sloppily dried and ironed my hair before splashing makeup on my face. Dressed Amy and rushed out the door. Checked Tommy out of school and took him to therapy. After Tommy's time with the doctor I got lectured because I haven't done anything about the teasing that Tommy has been getting at school. I only found out about this yesterday. Grabbed Tommy some Chic-fil-a then took him back to school. Drove to my mother's work to leave the 5 cases of cookies her co-workers ordered. Drove to the scout office to tell my SU manager that I can't do tonight's meeting but she wasn't there. Looked for a shirt that I saw on another leader only to learn that shirt had been discontinued. Rats. Drove home and here I am now, blogging. I need to get done and go wash dishes.
Tonight I'm putting Amy in the crib. I see two potential problems there. First, my evening TV watching may wake her. Second, the morning alarm clock will definitely wake her. We'll just have to hope she learns to ignore those sounds. Sarah needs her room back and Amy should be sleeping in her crib.
Sorted cookies for the neighborhood orders, then went to WalMart for some groceries. I was very disappointed that they had no black cherry or orange IBC. I hope they aren't discontinuing my favorite drink. Came home to chaos. Now I need to get Doug's things packed. :(
Deposited the cookie money without any negative looks or words from the poor teller who had to count all those singles (several hundred). Got Doug a new belt so he'll look good this week in Nashville and bought myself a cheap sweater from Proffitt's clearance rack. Dropped off the cookies that MHA ordered and got Noah a new belt clip for his Boy Scout uniform. Bought Tommy a Boy Scout handbook and he practically pee'd in his pants with happiness. Took Tommy to his psychiatrist for a quick check-in and new scripts. Came home and started counting out cookies for delivery in the neighborhood. As soon as I waste 10 minutes reading and writing blogs I'll do a load of dishes. Tommy is in the background asking "Can I get on your computer now?" over and over again.
I have to get a lot of things done today, including the dishes and laundry that piled up this weekend when I was wrapped up in cookie booths. Doug leaves at 5 in the morning tomorrow and won't be back until Friday night. I'm happy for him but sad that he'll be away. Bad me.
I can't believe this is my first blog of the day. When I do several tiny blogs throughout the day it's easy to know what I want to say but now I'm kind of overwhelmed by all that has happenned. For starters, Sarah and I did 3 cookie booths. Not a great day but at least we didn't get any questions about Girl Scouts and Planned Parenthood like we did yesterday. How ridiculous is all that mess?
Doug has worked really hard helping with cookie counting and unloading/loading the car a dozen times. I am going to hate it when he leaves. He is clearly tense about going though. I have appointments every single day this week and will need to drag all four children to all of them. Tommy will act ugly if it's not about him and Noah will whine and complain that he's hungry, thirsty and wants to be playing with his friends. Amy will require constant chasing and cleaning up of her messes. Sarah will just scowl at me and become cranky.
I have to go now and bathe the dog that Tommy tied to a tree surrounded by mud when I asked him to take her for a walk. All want to do is go to bed. Oh, for breakfast today I ate 1 1/2 slices of sausage. Lunch was half a bag of McDonalds french fries. In between I had 2 cokes and one hot chocolate. Wonder why I feel so drained when I'm so full of grease?
I'm tired physically and emotionally. I told my father I'd meet him for dinner. Afterwards I need to go pick up 27 more cases of cookies (gasp!). Then home to sort out Sarah's neighborhood orders. Afterwards I'll collapse in bed. Another cookie booth at 10 in the morning but at least the boys won't have to go and be bored.
Stayed up past midnight counting out cookie boxes for distribution today. I hope all the parents actually show up today. The funny thing is that I have to order several more cases already. I wanted to order more in the beginning and veteran leaders talked me out of it. Now I'm going to run out of cookies this weekend with two more weekends of sales to go. Of course it's raining today and that will make sales go poorly but tomorrow we're back in the mall.
I'm home! Ahhhhh. I'm going to put on pjs and poor Doug will have to go pick Sarah up from SibShop. Sorry Doug. I am very happy with the amount of cookies we sold at our first booth. 80 boxes! I'm disapponted that none were bought for the charity we are giving to but I still think that was probably the best booth we'll have the entire sale. Now I need to separate the cookies out for the girls parents to take and prepare stuff for tomorrow's meeting.
Off to check Sarah out of school so she can go with me to see what is involved in picking up 55 cases of cookies. Then to the mall for our very first cookie booth. Wish us luck!
Abigail Melissa Collier weighed in at 6 pound 13 ounces, 19 inches. Her big brother (22 months)has seen her through the window but not held her yet. Congratulations Matt and Carmen!
Doug "I might need that broken fill in the blank here someday" has taken 2 bags of garbage from his office! Only a dozen bags to go and we'll see the floor in his office.
Got up at 7 a.m. (gasp) to tell the children goodbye and read the paper. I'm going to check my e-mail and blog quickly then get dressed and start my panic. Oh, who am I kidding? Everyone knows I've been in a panic for days. Today I start my meltdown so that by Sunday night I am a total mess for Doug to leave town for what is now 3 weeks (originaly he said 2). We are dog sitting my mother's mischievious (and poorly trained) Corgi for the weekend.
The three older children are insured by my ex. Apparently they changed insurance coverage March 1st but the jerk never bothered to tell me or send cards. So last night I had no choice but to pay $50 for a script. All money paid toward deductables is now lost and we start over on a new plan that I know nothing about. I am incredibly angry. He just sat back and waited till we had problems before saying anything. Maliciousness has always been his specialty. Do something deviously cruel then sit back and smile while saying "It's not my fault." After he left me I went back to school because I didn't know what else to do. He wrote a letter cancelling my financial aid applications. Even though I looked at the letter in the University's file, he still denied doing it.
On the bright side, my brother and his wife are having their daughter today. Everyone in the family is there except me. Even my brother from Washington, DC is there. He phoned in for my deliveries. More baby details soon.
Got some errands run and relaxed at te Pinewood Derby. Noah has no idea what a miracle it is that he even had a car. Doug worked his fanny off on that car but it turned out cute. I will post pictures this weekend. Tomorrow is the first day of cookie booths so I won't have time to do anything for the next few days.
Decided Doug should run his errands first. When he returns I'll run errands. In the meantime I'm working on getting all the laundry done before tomorrow. Trying hard to stay calm but I really want to flip out.
Good news - It looks and feels like spring outside. The robins, cardinals, woodpeckers and other birds are everywhere. It's the kind of day that you just want to sit outside and feel the joy around you.
Bad news - I saw mosquitos today. Don't they know it's still winter? Didn't they hear the groundhog saw his shadow. Shoo! Shoo!
Couldn't get to sleep until 1:30 a.m. Too many thoughts and "need to-do's" racing through my mind. Dragged upstairs at 8:30 when I should have been up and going long before then. Now I'm trying to get dressed so I can head out but I need to carefully time it so Doug can have the car whenever he needs it.
The car is starting to look REALLY cute! Doug is working so hard on it. I think Noah is going to be very proud.
Didn't get enough done today but my back hurts and I want to lie in bed and relax for a bit. Tomorrow is a full day of chaos. Noah's car isn't going to get done.
Did a zillion loads of laundry. Printed the information for Saturday's scout meeting which I won't be at because I'll be a cookie booth. Created tally sheet for booths and collected booth supplies. Doug thoughtfully visited the bank for cookie booth change. If my mother remembers to drop off the lift cart tomorrow, I think I have everything for the booth except the cookies.
Now I need to go put all the clean clothes away.
Tried to make myself be functional when Doug sent me upstairs to watch Tommy while he drove carpool but I just couldn't do it. Being upstairs before 8 was progress though so I'll keep working on it. I've almost gotten the materials prepared for Saturday's scout meeting and my mother is going to let me borrow her lift truck. Now I need to do some cleaning as best I can before putting Amy down for her nap. When Amy goes down to nap I can make much better progress on my chores.
Oh, a word about being lost yesterday. After it was all over, I called Doug on the cell phone to whine about how bad I felt and announce that I would not be driving any more. Doug failed to mention that my father was at that very minute lost and talking to my mother on his cell phone to get driving directions. My point being that it is not my fault I have zero sense of direction skills. It is obviously some sort of genetic disability that scientists have yet to discover.
If I say the word "nose" to Amy she runs and hides her face so that I can't wipe her nose.
Left the house and took the wrong Interstate exchange. One quick turnaround and I made it to the scout store. Amy proceeded to scream and cry because I wouldn't let her destroy the displays the entire time we were there. Left there and made a wrong turn which had me in a strange and unfamiliar part of town. I wandered confused until I found a major street (although an unfamiliar one) named Broadway. Drove Broadway until I found an Interstate entrance got on and hurriedly tried to get home before Sarah and Noah. Fifteen minutes later I arrived at the Broadway exit! I wanted to cry. Turned the car around and cursed the entire rest of the drive home. Got home to two angry children who had been standing on the front porch for 15 minutes. Tossed them in the car and rushed off to get Tommy from his school with Noah asking repeatedly "Can we go get a snack and sodas?"
Picked up Tommy and rushed to group therapy where I did a horrible mother thing and just left him there even though I know I should watch him until the doctor takes the boys back to his office. Rushed to the office store to make copies of Girl Scout paperwork, cookie recipes for our booth and the Support Group flyer. Picked up the free donuts that the children get for A's on their report card and then rushed back to the psychologist's office. Shortly after my father dropped off Doug at the therapists per my request ("I'm not driving any more today.") and Doug chatted with another mother while I chased Amy.
Grabbed a quick dinner from Sonic and went to a "Dr.Seuss's birthday" event at the bookstore. Came home late for blogging and laundry before collapsing in the bed. I have major stress stomach. This week just gets worse and worse.
I spent the morning getting on Doug's nerves. My father came by to pick Doug up and said "Looking real good today, huh Cathy?" Translation "You look awful. Go put some makeup on." He left and I began collecting all the equipment I need for an afternoon of errands with a toddler. The diaper bag fell over and knocked my black cherry soda over. The soda splashed EVERYWHERE. Black cherry soda stains worse than kool-aid. Lucy tried her best to help me clean up the mess but I just don't think an old dog needs soda. This day is going downhill rapidly.
Bathed, washed hair and got dressed. Now tidying the house and washing laundry while I wait for Amy to finish her nap so I can go out in the rain for errands.
Had a relaxing evening with Doug and slept soundly thanks to the sound of the rain. Not a storm, but a soft gentle spring rain. Rain is great to listen to but it's yucky to have to get out in it. So, what's on my "to-do" for today? Errands. I need to visit the Girl Scout store which is on the other end of town and not close to anything in my normal routes. Then I need to make copies of service unit paperwork, support group flyers and cookie recipes. The service unit paperwork is because someone called me up and talked me into being our service unit's (all the scout troops in this geographical part of town) event coordinator. They said something about me being one of the few non-working leaders. I just don't feel like I don't work Anyway, I also need to check Tommy out of school and take him to his group therapy. In between I have to finish the laundry and get the basket of socks (that I've been ignoring cause it's my least favorite job) sorted before the rest of the family fires me.
My head hurts and I got very little done today. I did find a table to use for cookie booths and it is in the car waiting for Friday. My father is taking Doug to tour a plant in Morristown (way out of town) tomorrow and Tommy has group so I'll be taking the whole crowd to check Tommy out and then the whole crowd to Tommy's group therapy appt. Somehow I need to get some copies made before then. I have a headache coming on so I'm going to try and relax in bed and ignore the computer until tomorrow. It's rainy outside and I had a headache last time it rained so I wonder if there's a connection. I'm going to make a point of noticing the weather every time my head starts to hurt. Of course, the house really needs a good scrubbing so it could just be the dust in here. Ta-ta till morning.
My Amazon.com order came in today. I'm going to read "Five Love Languages for Children" while Doug reads "Five Love Languages" and then we'll switch. "Blue Bottle Mystery" by Kathy Hoopmann is for both of us to read before we share it with Tommy. Book reviews later.
I'm losing my mind. Alice didn't give me the Random Acts of Kindness link and I can't remember who did but that doesn't really matter. I've spent the day researching and e-mail people about possibilities for the troop's bronze award. I was going to go run errands but Doug just announced that he is going out and we only have one functioning car so I'll do errands later. It's not like there's not a thousand things to do here.
Watched TV until after 1 a.m. Just couldn't settle in and Doug wasn't interested in staying up. Awoke this morning to the sound of Tommy making some sort of thumping and dragging noises at 4-something a.m. By 7 a.m. I could no longer ignore the noises upstairs. Amy was trying to throw the thin mattress out of her port-a-crib and it was making her quite angry. I've got to get her in the crib at night. It's a choice between moving the crib up to Sarah's room and upsetting Sarah or creating some sort of screen to block off the area of our bedroom where the crib sits from our bed. Amy just won't sleep when she can see us. She naps in her crib during the day when we are not in the room very nicely. The crib is nicer, larger and more comfortable than the old port-a-crib. I will make a decision and do something before Friday. Everything in the world is going to get done "before Friday" because Friday is the beginning of cookie booths. None of the other girls' parents seem interested in helping with the cookie booths so it looks like it's just Sarah and I. I'm not getting any money from these cookie booths. I'm just trying to sell enough cookies so that the whole troop can afford a sleepover at the zoo. That costs $35 per person. Sigh. Maybe the parents will help next year.